It ReaLly a DamN ScarY dAy i Ever Had....

Last nite....
really scared many ppl...
including my...myself....

Well...
Where should i sharted 1st...
Ok. Let me start from yesterday morning...

I woke up as usual...going for medical check up. Then having breakfast with my friend.

When i reach home, i took my medicine n my slepping pills cuz these day i couldn't sleep. So when i'm trying to sleep, my heart started pump so fast, i couldn't breath at all. then i started to calm myself down n try not to think negative word also thought...

But, I started to feel dat my heart so pain n i crying suddenly too...
I can't stop cry cuz i also dun knw y i have dat sad feeling on me. I cry...n cry...n cry....my mum n my grandma dun knw abt it cuz i cry alone at my bedroom.

Untill afternoon...i'm started feel so tired n wanna find something to hurt myself. ( kinna Stupid rite) bt luckily i control myself to calm myself down. i walk here n there still have that thought dat wanna find something to hurt myself...Oh God, i'm really so suffer...bt again...
i ate 1 more sleeping pill to let me sleep...finally i felt asleep.

But.....
At evening...I woke up..
i thought is da next day of evening. Who knws dat juz past few hour only...i think around 2-3 hour i slept. well..Guess da sleeping pills nt works at all for me. The feelings still coming out. I feel so pain.....n started to cry...When i reach to the kitchen, I trying to find something sharp n easy to hurt myself....A KNIFE. i pull up n wanna cut myself, bt...i control it by forcing me to lock myself at the toilet.

I can't stand it at all. I call Ivan to ask him to pray for me. He's really helping me alot. Later on my forster sis wanna me to fetch her to delivered something. I thought it will be fine if i hang out a while...but useless, and it's getting even more pain. I try to hold on n try to act like nothing happen on me...

Haiz....
Pain still going on...i can't stand it anymore...Sofia( foster sis ) accompany me walk n i keep trying calm down myself, still useless...When i wanna crossing the road, i walk slowy and wanna try to wait the car crushing on me...Maybe that feeling feels so good to me i think. Bt luckily we safely cross by and i stopped at Petronas station at Hui Sing. My heart really getting even more pain. N i knw dat it's ME wanna come out and wanna hurt myself...

("ME"...will let you all knw wads is dat n y i say dat)

i quickly ask her to call Ivan...I really need a help, finally...i heard Ivan call, Bt something so weird is i wanna push Sofia away from me bt i keep holding her hand. Ivan try to pray for me on phone bt i started to scold him with a diffrent voice...OMG. Bt at last, Ivan really help me out. ME getting weaker n i'm getting even more tired n lost energy...when he stop praying...my heart really getting more peaceful than b4...

And of cuz...i can't even walk, my friends hold me up n put me into their car. I knw who are them, they drove safely. When i reach home...Sofia suggest me to stay at her house bt i still dun wan..BT thanks alot Sofia, U really help me alot....and also Ivan...Thanks alot for being by my side. i really appriciate, u r really a good soulmate to me.

Today...I feel better then b4, n I knw is i should let the past go. I shouldn't keep the past inside my heart. And i knw ME will still appear inside my heart. I will try mt best to make myself more useful and also more stronger then ME. Cuz i knw ME are still waiting for me in the future....

WeLCoME To mY WorLd...IcE WoRLd

Welcome To mY IcE worLD

Hehehehe...

Introduce Myself....

I'm IcE... Age 20......Of CUZ is Female...

like to play....like to talk...like to disturbing ppl....

so many things abt me....

hehehhe.......

erm....

I have 1 eldest brother, 1 elder sister and 1 younger sister...so i'm 3rd...

We all have single mother...hope you all knw wads dat mean.

Now live together including my cute cute grandma....she's so funny....

MY elDerSt BrOTHER

My EldeR sIStER

my pretty mother

at this moment my younger sis and my gramdma pic nt available

hope to post it A.S.A.P.....